Are you sick of making the same resolutions
year after year that you never keep? Why not promise to do something you can actually accomplish? Here are some resolutions
that you can use as a starting point:
1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
2. Stop exercising. Waste of time.
3. Read less. Makes you think.
Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.
5. Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
6. Don't date any of the
7. Spend more time at work, surfing with the T1.
8. Take a vacation to someplace important: like, to
see the largest ball of twine.
9. Don't jump off a cliff just because everyone else did.
10. Stop bringing lunch from
home: I should eat out more.
11. Don't have eight children at once.
12. Get in a whole NEW rut!
13. Start being superstitious.
Personal goal: bring back disco.
15. Don't wrestle with Jesse Ventura.
16. Don't bet against the Minnesota
17. Buy an '83 Eldorado and invest in a really loud stereo system.
18. Get the windows tinted. Buy some fur
for the dash.
19. Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabicwords.
20. Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too
small and use a chain or rope for a belt.