1. As I let go of my feelings of
guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.
2. I have the power to channel my
imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.
3. I assume full responsibility
for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.
4. In some cultures what I do would
be considered normal.
5. My intuition nearly makes up
for my lack of wisdom and judgment.
6. I need not suffer in silence
while I can still moan, whimper, and complain.
7. When someone hurts me, I know
that forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as rewarding.
8. I am at one with my duality.
9. Blessed are the flexible, for
they can tie themselves in knots.
10. I will strive to live each day
as if it were my 50th birthday.
11. I honor and express all facets
of my being, regardless of state and local laws.
12. Today I will gladly share my
experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so!"
13. A scapegoat is almost as good
as a solution.
14. Just for today, I will not sit
in my living room all day in my underwear. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.
15. I will no longer waste my time
reliving the past; I will spend it worrying about the future?
16. The complete lack of evidence
is the surest proof that the conspiracy is working.
17. Before I criticize a man, I
walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he's a mile away and barefoot.